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Schedule

Yesterday 24th 8:00/ 3:30
Sunday 25th- 4:30/ 10:00 (Adrew’s party)
Monday 26th- off
Tuesday 27th- 6:00/ 10:30 (group 4)
Wednesday 28th- off (group 4)
Thursday 29th- 4:30/ 10:30
Friday 30th- 9:30/ 5:00

I know they have me working on Andrew’s party. I am still tossing around the idea of calling in sick. It sucks. Also on the 27th (group 4 day) I suppose if I have to go in at 6:00 I can theoretically do both. At least I get Monday off…

It’s been a couple of days since we buried Zoe, but it doesn’t feel like she’s gone. In fact I have not been able to grieve for her because of that, and I feel really awful about it. It’s like somehow if I can’t cry for her it means that I didn’t really love her. That somehow her loss means nothing. I know that isn’t true but I still feel wretched about it anyway. When we found her there really wasn’t much left. Mostly just a skull. I guess I wasn’t able to acknowledge that it was her that we were burying. At the same time I can remember everything about her so vividly. The texture of her fur, her smell, her warmth, the sound of her purring, the feel of her tail flicking across my face, and still I can’t really grieve.

6 Comments

  1. Anonymous wrote:

    I know how it goes. Came home from school one day to find out that my mom had put my dog of 13 years to sleep that morning. No warning, just all of a sudden he was gone. I, unfortunately, don’t really have any wisdom to share with you, just saying that I can sympathize.

    –Knutzen

    Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 3:17 PM | Permalink
  2. shimarisu210 wrote:

    I understand.

    Hannah, it’s not that you didn’t love her, it just hasn’t hit yet. It will, you’ll cry then, for now don’t beat yourself up about something that isn’t true. *hugs* Much love.

    Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 4:56 PM | Permalink
  3. orty wrote:

    *hug*

    Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 7:24 PM | Permalink
  4. chibifiedzoe wrote:

    Tis tough, I know… Like when we found Tiger. You’ll never forget her, but eventually you’ll greive and set it aside. Not unlike a family member dying. *hugs her close* It’ll get better, love. I promise. It will.

    Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 8:32 PM | Permalink
  5. I love you, babe, and please don’t beat yourself up over this. As Amber said, it will hit you and you will grieve, so just let the shock settle in for now. I’m so sorry… I know how it feels. *hugs*

    Monday, July 26, 2004 at 1:53 PM | Permalink
  6. tornprince wrote:

    I’m sorry. I know there’s nothing I can say that will help, but I understand how you feel. I’ve lost a cat before, and a dog. I know it’s hard.

    Brian

    Monday, July 26, 2004 at 4:23 PM | Permalink

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