Skip to content

Hell

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at
the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since there is
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,”
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,
last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”

7 Comments

  1. miss_hotaru wrote:

    A well deserved “A”. XD

    Wednesday, August 2, 2006 at 4:54 PM | Permalink
  2. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *falls over, continues to laugh* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA *gasp* ha… ha. *abdomen in now in pain*

    That was brilliant. I laughed. I cried (because I was laughing so hard). Thank you. I think you may possibly have made my life. Or at least this month.

    Wednesday, August 2, 2006 at 6:49 PM | Permalink
  3. shimarisu210 wrote:

    That was awesome, you get an A+ for this post! Much love!

    Wednesday, August 2, 2006 at 8:34 PM | Permalink
  4. I remember that story. I don’t think I’ve done it yet, so: Awesome Icon. I wanna go watch the movie now…

    Wednesday, August 2, 2006 at 8:44 PM | Permalink
  5. admin wrote:

    I’m glad you guys liked it.

    Thursday, August 3, 2006 at 2:35 AM | Permalink
  6. shimarisu210 wrote:

    Oopsie, didn’t realize I’d commented off Becka’s comment. Oh well, hey, when do you get back into Athens? I’m moving into my apartment the 13th, maybe we could hang after that. :-D Much love!

    Thursday, August 3, 2006 at 3:17 AM | Permalink
  7. fatcagney wrote:

    Well, that’s assuming that Hell exists in the first place.

    Thursday, August 3, 2006 at 3:58 AM | Permalink

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *
*
*