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Printmaking Blues

So for some reason my printmaking projects are giving me a lot more anxiety than usual. Of course there is a lot of reasons and I am doing much more ambitious prints than before but that doesn’t reduce this gut sinking feelings of anxiety I am having over these prints. I think working on 2 prints at once doesn’t help either but that’s what I get for taking 2 print classes. I end up really liking one and then sort of pushing through the other. I know it’s a mood and I will feel better about them especially once I can get some ink on paper and they do look good. Ugh I hope I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew. Of course anxiety is often a combination of feelings and I am more and more worried about my decision to try and make it as an artist. I mean it sounds brave and good but when you are REALLY making art to the best of your ability, failure is no longer a business issue but personal. Failure is something that I have struggled with for years, I am not terribly good at pulling myself together after a bad go and it’s something I have been trying to work on in my life. So I work hard in school and always make good grades and there have been only a few instances where I have had to grapple with this fear. So like any good phobia I am good at avoiding the issue. I want to be a successful artist and I want to be able to support myself doing art. I just wish it wasn’t so uncertain. So I guess I feel like a lot is at stake with my current prints more so than is actually there.

On the positive side we got my room outfitted with a nice drafting table so I can work in my room and have a decent workspace. On the downside it means it’s just me and the internet alone in my room. A recipe for disaster procrastination. I have been reading SMBC comics to cheer myself up but I am out of strips and I could use more crack.

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